Many people have trouble performing in bed due to stress, and there are lots of ways you can overcome sexual anxiety.

Being bad at sex could mean that either you do not gain any pleasure in sex or that your partner shuts down after sex and doesn’t seem to enjoy it. It’s not a crime- and is definitely something you can work on.

Below are some signs that show you are bad in bed and what to do about it:

You think foreplay is for losers and always get right into it. That’s a sign you’re an amateur and that you’re probably bad at sex. Foreplay is a good way to get started, warm up your partner and get them going. Not caring about how your partner is feeling can be a huge turn-off.

If at the end of the day, you’re having sex just to check it off your list, it’s a sign you’re bad in bed. Research shows that treating sex as a chore is very often seen in marital relationships, where pleasure is taken for granted.

Not fulfilling a partner’s needs is what primarily makes a wife or husband bad in bed.

Apologizing when you cross the line is good. Saying sorry every time you change positions or showing unnecessary concern can ruin the mood and can also be frustrating. Apologizing when your partner sees no need for it can be a sign you’re bad at sex and is an instant turnoff.

Sex is not one-sided — both you and your partner need to be involved in the act for it to be any good. If you’re just lying down and expect your partner to do all the work, then it’s a sure sign you’re bad in bed.

Being confident about yourself and your body is sexy; being overconfident and conceited is not. Your partner may assume you’re putting on a false bravado to hide how bad you are in bed, and it can also be a turnoff.

You’ve tried everything, but your partner is just not interested in having sex with you. Maybe things were hot and heavy at the beginning of your relationship, but the flames died out quickly. Could that be a sign he thinks you’re bad in bed? Sadly, the answer is a yes.

You like to know what’s coming. When you know you’re going to have sex, you try to plan it all out and make sure your partner follows your plan. This might’ve been sexy at first, but sticking to the same two moves makes a man (or woman) bad in bed, and your partner could lose interest quickly.

Ways to make bad sex better

Wondering how you can make your sex life better? Here are some ways to improve it:

So now that you know how very low or very high confidence can impact your performance in bed, it’s time to work on it. If you have low confidence, try to build it up slowly using affirmation techniques, like thinking positively about yourself or engaging in confidence-building activities.

People think sex is only a physical act, and they cannot be more wrong. Talking during sex is important. Scientists also say that you can talk during sex using non-verbal cues, and it can make your partner feel more comfortable.

You can also try asking your partner questions about what feels good and what positions might not be doing it for them. Talking through it can help you get much better at sex and will make your partner change their mind about whether you’re bad in bed.

If you only have one bedroom routine, your partner gets bored. And a bored partner is a sign he thinks you’re bad in bed. Switch things up. Play a dirty game or try roleplay. Ask your partner about their wildest fantasy and take it to the next level. In other words, try something new.

Having a routine relationship can get boring quickly, and this can also impact your performance in bed. Take chances and be spontaneous.

Whisk away your partner with a surprise date night or an overnight trip. Being spontaneous can make your relationship more exciting, and can also make you feel more pumped up and energized in bed.

This might seem like an overreaction, but going to sex therapy can do wonders for your performance in bed. Sex therapists can help you pinpoint what problems you might be having and where they’re coming from.

If sex is more of a partner issue, then attending therapy sessions together can help build your rapport, fix problems in your relationships both inside and outside your bedroom, and help you make sex a fun part of your dating life.