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Let’s Take A Step Into A Life With Social Anxiety

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Let's Take A Step Into A Life With Social Anxiety

Social anxiety makes it hard to connect with other people. I don’t talk much not because I don’t have anything to say, I just don’t think anyone cares. When you grow up as the ‘shy kid’, you get used to being ignored. It starts with your first relationship with your family members.

The family is made up of people with different personalities. Usually, people can find a way to relate easily with their family; they feel comfortable expressing themselves so everyone knows how to deal with one another. It’s not like that for socially anxious people. Because it’s difficult to express ourselves, we can’t really open up even to family members, and this is worse in an environment that doesn’t feel safe and nurturing.

Think about what happens when you meet two siblings. You say hello to both of them and one is quick to respond. The other says hello quietly. The more outspoken and lively one continues the conversation and you end up ignoring the ‘shy’ one. Everyone does it; it’s normal not to want to force a conversation out of someone who seems like they don’t want to talk.

It takes a lot of energy to speak so why jump into a conversation for no reason? If I don’t need to say anything, I won’t. It’s easier to just observe and pitch in where necessary.

When parents don’t know how to deal with that shy, sensitive, or weird kid, they make a lot of mistakes that can damage them. “Why can’t you be more like your brother? He’s always carefree?” “Not everything is a big deal, you take things too seriously.” “You’re too sensitive, just let it go.” “Stop overthinking.” “Why can’t you just talk?” And then these kids subconsciously build a defence mechanism against statements like these.

Families are the foundation of human relationships. It is the responsibility of every parent to ensure their children possess basic social skills. When it doesn’t come naturally to a child, they should be taught how to relate with others, and not ignored. If you notice a child doesn’t make friends easily, intervene. Find out why and help them improve. The dangers of being a socially handicapped adult are too high for it not to be taken seriously. It’s not about being popular or having a lot of friends. Social anxiety can make one lose the few friends we’ve managed to make.

A lot of people don’t know they are socially anxious. They just know they find relating with others difficult and they panic in what seems like ‘normal’ social situations. When you don’t even understand how you feel, you can’t explain it. And that’s where the problem is. We can’t communicate that we have trouble communicating.

Still, it is not too late, if you’re a socially anxious adult, you can still learn basic social skills. With practice, you’ll be able to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and maintain healthy relationships.

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I was at an interview recently, and I had the worst anxiety attack I’ve had in a while. It was the third stage of the interview process so I was feeling confident. Once the interviewer began to speak, I felt the need to defend myself in a way that seemed off. Instead, I asked questions to make sure I wasn’t reading into things wrongly.

I’m aware of my anxiety so I always question myself in social situations, especially important ones. Interviews are a stressful situation for anyone but for me, everything is heightened. It requires almost all my energy just to stay calm. I couldn’t breathe properly and felt overwhelmed. I started to slow down my breathing – it helps to lower my heart rate and calm my nerves. I silenced the thoughts in my head and asked myself, “What’s wrong here? Calm down and listen.”

There was a pattern with the questions she was asking. The ‘issues’ she brought up were from a time before I started my career in copywriting. There were no references to the sites I worked on, or how I handled working with clients. Then I noticed she kept touching a piece of paper on her desk. It was a printout of my CV but I hadn’t applied for the role with my CV, I used my portfolio because it contains live samples of the websites I have created content for.

I started to panic again but kept telling myself, “You’re okay. You’re doing great. Just mention your portfolio.” I felt worry, and then relief when I realised she just hadn’t seen my portfolio. It was strange that I was being judged by someone who hadn’t seen my work yet, but I was excited to introduce her to it.

Because I’ve learned to calm my anxiety, I was attentive enough to notice the real problem, and didn’t act on the feeling that I was being attacked or become defensive. It was a huge moment for me because I know how the situation could have gone.

Your life can start to fall apart because of anxiety; it’ll affect your work, family, dating, and pretty much anything that involves other human beings. If you can’t communicate properly, you’ll have problems with everyone everywhere. If social skills don’t come naturally to you, you can decide to learn them. Practicing mindfulness and learning emotional intelligence will help you understand your own emotions and the emotions of others. You can then use this understanding to guide your behaviour and maintain healthy relationships. Above all, be patient with yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

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Source: GhArticles.com

 

 

Fashion , Arts And Culture

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

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Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

Hi there rich aunties!!!!! Want to slay, bougify your personality yet keep it African? GhArticles.com has got the perfect spice to your source!!.

We’ve evolved so much and so has our fashion sense as Africans.

Our African print fabrics has cut through ages to have a spot in every event. Formal, casual or just something to feel goofy in, a colorful yet lively piece of Ankara will work the magic

Here are a few style inspos, feel free to take a screenshot and send to your seamstress;

READ ALSO:   Private Jet Saga: Government Set To Purchase Brand New Presidential Jet  After Spending $£15,000 Already - DETAILS

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

Hey Ladies, Here Are Some Ankara Style Inspirations Fit For Your Closet

 

 

We Will Love You To Join Our Over 170k Members Instagram Family With Just One Click @gharticles

Source: GhArticles.com

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Fashion , Arts And Culture

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

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Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

We compiled a  beautiful selection of daily outfit inspiration for your week, courtesy of Asiyami Gold.

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Monday

Add a twist to the classic white button shirt by pairing it with flared slacks and mules.

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

Tuesday

A casual short-set like this linen number will do wonders for your wardrobe. Up your ante with leather accessories and minimal jewelry and you’re ready for the day.

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

Wednesday

Don’t be scared to pull out those mom jeans. A sleek bun and the right makeup in your favorite jeans will have you feeling spectacular.

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

Thursday

It’s never too early to start unwinding for the weekend, a polo shirt and slacks in neutral colors is simply a must-have!.

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

Friday

We’re calling this one ‘Seeing Green‘. Introduce a pop of color into your week and don’t forget to tag us when you take those stunning photos. #bellastylista

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

Saturday

Maxi dresses are superb for a relaxing and stress-free weekend. Channel your inner goddess in an outfit like this.

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

Sunday

Nothing says bold and beautiful as black does. We love the way Asiyami accessorizes her dress with a raffia bag and sandals.

Need Everyday Outfit Inspo? We Gotchu!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Will Love You To Join Our Over 170k Members Instagram Family With Just One Click @gharticles

Source: GhArticles.com

 

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Sex And Relationship

Ladies, Never Let Your Boyfriend In On Your Body Count!!

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Ladies, Never Let Your Boyfriend In On Your Body Count!!

Only your doctor or gynaecologist deserves to know the number of men you have been intimate with.

Your body count is the number of people you have had sex with, and that information is something that you should keep to yourself.

Even in new relationships where new partners try to familiarise with each other by asking questions, peering into past relationships, and trying to understand past sexual experiences; the question may arise from your [potential] boyfriend.

No matter how gently or how politely or innocently he asks, you should never tell, says Tracey Cox

Tracey is a popular English author and columnist who specialises in dating, sex, and relationships.

The relationship expert believes that downplaying the figure of your body count when asked does not make sense. It is better to not answer the question at all, she opines.

“People will judge you no matter what answer you give when asked about past lovers and the assumption they make is usually wrong.

“Which is why I don’t care who’s doing the asking – whether it’s your partner, mother, best friend or beauty therapist – your answer to how many lovers you’ve had is no answer.”

You could tell your doctor, gynecologist, or other medical professionals who need your sexual history for medical reasons, she adds.

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That seems logical enough, given that those are professionals who have signed a confidentiality oath.

Your body count will be used against you

“Keep your mouth zipped even if nothing… has been [in there]… and don’t kid yourself: if you do blurt out a figure to your boyfriend, you will be judged – and not necessarily by the same rules he judges himself on.

“Even if he’s slept with 300, your three will be two too many,” the 57-year-old expert says, bringing to the fore yet again the ridiculousness of the double standard which society judges sexual activeness within the genders.

Men are hailed champs when they’ve been with numerous women, but women are called tramps for being even half as sexually adventurous as some of these men.

To avoid these unfair biases in society’s estimation of you, Tracy says keeping quiet about your body count is best.

Don’t tell your boo; not your friends and surely not your parents and you’ll be just fine.

 

 

 

We Will Love You To Join Our Over 170k Members Instagram Family With Just One Click @gharticles

Source: GhArticles.com

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