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5 Reasons You Feel Trapped In A Relationship You Once Thought Was Perfect

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5 Reasons You Feel Trapped In A Relationship You Once Thought Was Perfect

Once upon a time, you found a man and began a relationship with him. This guy was better than the rest. He treated you the way you always dreamed of, took you on amazing dates, and showered you with compliments and gifts.

With all the great things he was doing for you during the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you couldn’t help but wonder: What was his motive for doing all of this? Could it be that he’s genuinely in love with me, or is he playing a role?

At the moment you couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something was off. Despite all the relationship advice you read, you had a gut feeling that was too good to be true.

How could a guy you’ve only dated for two months or less be so madly in love with you? What did you do to make him fall in love with you?

Those are all the questions that came into my head when I was in that very situation.

Instead of taking the time to get to the root of my doubts regarding being in a relationship with my so-called Prince Charming, I rushed into it. I figured that if he loved me so much this early on, there was no way he would cheat on me or break up with me. I thought I might as well be his girlfriend.

When you think about it, me thinking that way is sad. I was rushing into a relationship out of fear of losing him if I didn’t commit. Since I was operating from a place of scarcity, I allowed myself to compromise my need to take things slow. I thought if I let him go, another girl would surely snatch him up in a heartbeat.

That type of thinking speaks to how naive I was in the early stages of my love life.

It never crossed my mind that he could be faking. The guy I thought was so kind and genuine was simply playing the role of a good guy. It’s easy for someone to fake who they are for a short period of time before the real them comes out.

That’s why he was intensely pursuing me for two months prior to our relationship. He knew he couldn’t keep the act up for too long, so he had to do the most he could in the shortest time span to make me believe he was committed to me.

His motive was to do whatever it would take to make me his girlfriend — and it worked. He love bombed me into a relationship without me even knowing.

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Love bombing is a “Predatory tactic used to seduce and ensnare an individual into a romantic relationship,” only to later ghost them. I was literally tricked into being in a relationship under the false pretense that he would continue to treat me the way he did in the beginning.

As our relationship progressed, our dates become more inconsistent, he put less effort in, and our conversations got dull. He was no longer the guy I agreed to be with. He changed. It’s like he went from being madly in love with me to just tolerating me.

I began feeling trapped in my relationship. I thought that maybe we could get through this rough patch and go back to normal. I tried hard to salvage what was left. In the process of doing so, I realized that I couldn’t be the only one fighting to save our relationship.

I had to tell myself the harsh reality that the reason he wasn’t putting the effort in was that he didn’t care. He just wanted to be able to say I was his girlfriend as if I was some sort of trophy.

After I broke up with him, I thought we were going to get back together. Looking back, I’m glad we didn’t because in our time apart I learned so much about who he truly was. If I would’ve known then what I know now, I would never have dated him.

As the saying goes “Everything that glitters is not gold.” Just because a guy seems great, that doesn’t really mean he is. Take the time to really get to know someone and those close to them before getting into a relationship. Rushing is never worth the potential heartbreak.

If you’re feeling trapped in your relationship as I did, here are a few reasons you may feel this way.

1. You rushed into the relationship without getting to know him.

Rushing into a relationship hardly ever ends well because you don’t truly know who you’re getting involved with. We all know that in the early stages of dating, we put our best foot forward and lead with our best qualities in hopes of attracting another person.

But it takes time to get to know someone and learn if you both have an authentic connection that isn’t purely based on physical attraction. When you rush into things, you commit to the person’s representative self, without seeing their true nature.

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You’ll feel trapped once you realize you don’t like the real them.

2. You have unrealistic expectations that can’t be met.

Remember that people are imperfect and they make mistakes. If you put your partner on an extremely high pedestal, they’ll disappoint you at some point. You can’t expect someone to be a perfect partner 100 percent of the time, because you aren’t either.

Make sure you and your partner are aware of your expectations, so you can decide which can realistically be met. This is how you keep yourself from feeling unsatisfied in your relationship. When your needs are met in a relationship, you won’t feel trapped.

3. You settled for less.

When you settle for someone in a relationship, sooner or later you feel trapped. Even though it was perfect in the beginning, as time goes on, your lack of satisfaction grows. You can’t help wonder if you could do better or if he’s even worthy of you.

There are too many singles out there for you to settle for someone who isn’t good enough for you. Just wait until you find the person you’re looking for so you can have the relationship you always wanted.

4. You’re financially dependent on him.

Having a man pay for everything you own at first might seem great, but it isn’t. When he’s your source of income, it’s difficult for you to assert your own independence.

If you don’t act in a way that pleases him, he might just cut you off financially. Not having the luxuries you’re used to will surely cause you distress. You won’t feel like you can leave, because you won’t have any money without him.

Allowing a man to be your sole provider will backfire because you’ll end up feeling like you can never provide for yourself without him.

5. You’re scared to leave.

Sometimes the man you thought was “the one” could have a serious temper. His anger issues will hardly ever show in the beginning; in fact, he might be a complete sweetheart.

The issues only become apparent when you get deeper into the relationship, and by then it’s too late. Since you know he has anger issues, you can’t help but feel like leaving, even though you hate staying.

 

 

 

 

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Source: GhArticles.com

Sex And Relationship

Do Not Give Your Girlfriend Money When Dating – Jessica Opare-Saforo Advises Men

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Do Not Give Your Girlfriend Money When Dating – Jessica Opare-Saforo Advises Men

In a video shared on her YouTube channel, Jessica stated that it is not okay for guys to give money to their girlfriends.

If the man is to give money regularly to his partner when dating, she argued that the relationship can collapse.

“People might think that giving their partner money guarantees loyalty, guarantees love, guarantees a happy relationship but I am here to tell you that it is actually not the case. If you are someone who has based your whole relationship on money as the solution to everything…there’s an argument and the next thing you do is give her money to go and buy her favourite thing, go shopping, what you are doing is actually damaging your relationship because money cannot be the solution to everything. There is more to life than money.

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“Money is great, money is good, money makes things easier, a lot of things but it is not the solution to every problem,” said Jessica.

She added that women who make monetary demands often will leave the men when they are not able to give someday.

Watch the video below;

 

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Source: GhArticles.com

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Sex And Relationship

‘A Killer Marriage Is A Nonsense Marriage’ – Pastor Paul Enenche

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'A Killer Marriage Is A Nonsense Marriage' - Pastor Paul Enenche

General Overseer of Dunamis International Gospel Church, Pastor Paul Enenche has cautioned men and women against abuse in marriage.

The popular televangelist was preaching on marriage when he urged his church members to avoid marriages that could end them in death.

According to him, divorce is not allowed under any condition but it is better to be alive and there is no marriage than for you to die because of marriage.

He further charged men to handover their wives to their to parents if they think they can’t handle them.

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He also noted that it nonsense to die in a marriage, “a killer marriage is a nonsense marriage,” he said.

He continued that some men can abuse their wives emotionally and psychologically.

Pastor Paul Enenche comments come after renowned Nigerian musician, Sister Osinachi Nwachukwu passed on few days ago.

According to reports, the Ekwueme singer has been suffering from physical abuse from her husband and had been on life support for the past two months.

The singer, who is known for her angelic voice, is generally known for the track, Ekwueme, and afterwards the sad news of her demise has gone viral, with many people reacting to it.

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Right through her career as a gospel singer, she has featured in some popular gospel songs like ‘Nara Ekele’ by Pastor Dr Paul Enenche (Dunamis, Abuja), ‘Ekwueme’ by Prospa Ochimana, and ‘You no dey use me play’ by Emma.

 

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Sex And Relationship

‘I Dated My Wife For 9 Years And She Never Asked Me For Money’ – Nigerian Man Shares ‘Grass To Grace’ Story

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A Nigerian man has revealed how his girlfriend who is now his wife never stressed him with financial responsibilities during the period he dated her.

He said that they dated for almost 9 years, and during that moment he cannot recall a single moment that she placed a financial burden on his weak shoulders.

He shared his story on Twitter while ultimately reminding couples never to make the fulcrum of their relationship.

In his words;

”All through the almost 9 years I dated my wife, I cannot recall her asking me for money for anything for one day.

It was basically us just doing stuff together with our money. Right from university days until we graduated.

She didn’t call me one day to ask for money for phone Recharge card or hair or dress. We had occasional exchange of gifts and that’s that. Do not see me as tweeting from a privilege position. Our parents weren’t wealthy but they took care of our needs. All these were mostly seen as normal to us because it was common amongst my peers.

So it’s what I know I’ll tweet about. It remained that way until we got married before we individually took up our roles. To the younger ones, you can do it. Poverty is not an excuse as long as you have parents or siblings that are sponsoring you, live within your means and enjoy your relationship and grow together.

Involving money in relationships breed entitlement mentality between people dating.

I take care of you and you give me sex. That’s entitlement. You miss all the opportunities to truly know who you’re dating & it reduces trust & This was what we did. It doesn’t have to work for you if you try. But I’ll not come here to deceive you/tweet for the optics just because it’s “popular” opinion.I’m more into building, bonding & deliberately committing when it involves issues of the heart.”

 

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