Congratulations! You finally snagged a date with that hot guy from the gym. Over dinner, you practically sit on your tongue to appear demure.
After all, isn’t being an introvert ALL the rage these days? (Everywhere you turn, you hear how much happier introverts are in life, love, and work.)
But being an extrovert or an introvert isn’t about being shy or speaking out — it’s about how you gain energy and how you process life events and situations.
Being around others energizes extroverts, while introverts need quiet (and sometimes solitude) to recharge.
One of the reasons extroverts seem to talk so much is because we need to work things out verbally, while introverts ponder ideas in their head before they express an opinion.
All humans — both introverts and extroverts — are biologically, spiritually, cognitively, and physically wired to love, be loved, and belong. Each just takes a different approach to life and needs to be loved differently.
That doesn’t mean you have to dial down your enthusiasm for the world. Rather, learn skills to successfully navigate the world around you, which is full of people who manage their energy differently than you. This is particularly important in the dating scene.
But if you do decide to go after an introvert, here are the three things an extrovert needs to know about dating an introvert.
1. Put your energy into listening.
As extroverts, we tend to speak in order to think. We are also BIG-time interrupters. As another person talks to us, our responses are already bubbling to the surface, practically bypassing our brains. This frustrates others, especially introverts, and makes them feel silenced by us.
They gave time and attention to listen to your thoughts and feelings. When you interrupt or steam-roll over their less-dominant way of communicating, they feel their words are unimportant.
I know it feels as though you’re being tied down when you don’t speak at every impulse, but allowing others their turn and their say goes a long way in building trust and rapport. So, spend time creating a list of questions you might ask an introverted date to draw him out. Then, shut up and actually listen. This is how a thoughtful exchange begins.
2. Suggest low-key places for dates.
Extroverts feel energized by being around others. Going to a big party, nightclub, or popular restaurant makes you feel alive. However, these experiences drain introverts and they cannot wait to escape. It feels personal if he wants to end the night early when truthfully, he’s just drained from the noise and energy of all the people.
Later in your relationship, it causes conflict when one of you wants to go out and the other wants to stay in.
Introverts need to observe new situations. On a date, that means you want them focused on observing YOU, not a loud environment. So, suggest familiar or lower-key spots for a date.
I know that a too-quiet environment feels boring to you, but it gives you BOTH an opportunity to get to know each other without being distracted by the outside world too much.
3. Slow down.
As an extrovert, you want to try new experiences and take it all in. You think fast, move quickly, and love the spotlight. Sometimes, you become impatient when you don’t excel at a new skill quickly or when others don’t keep up.
Introverts are often attracted to that unbridled sense of adventure that comes along with them, especially if they don’t have to do the planning. But, all of that enthusiasm quickly becomes overwhelming and exhausting to them.
This isn’t to say that you need to give up your enthusiasm for exploring the world, but by slowing down you learn the art of savoring. Step back and watch your introverted partner approach a problem with a (seemingly) laid-back resoluteness. You can learn patience by watching their tenacity and determination to learn new skills and experience adventures along with you.
By being more patient, you not only offer that gift to your partner, but you can become less judgmental and patient with yourself.
Being an extrovert isn’t a liability when it comes to love.
If you spend your time dating as something you’re not, you will never feel truly accepted and loved (outgoing warts and all). By being your glorious, extroverted self, you have the greatest opportunity for finding a relationship that feels collaborative, loving, and supportive — even one with an introvert.
Why? An extrovert naturally invites an introvert out of his or her shell to explore and experience the world around them.
On the flip side, an introverted partner is the understanding and supportive partner you need when the world feels too busy and overwhelming. He or she will be the first to suggest you put up your feet, have a glass of wine, and snuggle on the couch by the fire. And that’s not a bad way to spend a date night.
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Do Not Give Your Girlfriend Money When Dating – Jessica Opare-Saforo Advises Men
Popular media personality, Jessica Opare-Saforo has a different view on men spending money on their girlfriends.
In a video shared on her YouTube channel, Jessica stated that it is not okay for guys to give money to their girlfriends.
Jessica Opare-Saforo said the worst thing a man can give to a woman during dating is money.
If the man is to give money regularly to his partner when dating, she argued that the relationship can collapse.
“People might think that giving their partner money guarantees loyalty, guarantees love, guarantees a happy relationship but I am here to tell you that it is actually not the case. If you are someone who has based your whole relationship on money as the solution to everything…there’s an argument and the next thing you do is give her money to go and buy her favourite thing, go shopping, what you are doing is actually damaging your relationship because money cannot be the solution to everything. There is more to life than money.
“Money is great, money is good, money makes things easier, a lot of things but it is not the solution to every problem,” said Jessica.
She added that women who make monetary demands often will leave the men when they are not able to give someday.
Watch the video below;
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‘A Killer Marriage Is A Nonsense Marriage’ – Pastor Paul Enenche
General Overseer of Dunamis International Gospel Church, Pastor Paul Enenche has cautioned men and women against abuse in marriage.
The popular televangelist was preaching on marriage when he urged his church members to avoid marriages that could end them in death.
According to him, divorce is not allowed under any condition but it is better to be alive and there is no marriage than for you to die because of marriage.
He further charged men to handover their wives to their to parents if they think they can’t handle them.
He also noted that it nonsense to die in a marriage, “a killer marriage is a nonsense marriage,” he said.
He continued that some men can abuse their wives emotionally and psychologically.
Pastor Paul Enenche comments come after renowned Nigerian musician, Sister Osinachi Nwachukwu passed on few days ago.
According to reports, the Ekwueme singer has been suffering from physical abuse from her husband and had been on life support for the past two months.
The singer, who is known for her angelic voice, is generally known for the track, Ekwueme, and afterwards the sad news of her demise has gone viral, with many people reacting to it.
Right through her career as a gospel singer, she has featured in some popular gospel songs like ‘Nara Ekele’ by Pastor Dr Paul Enenche (Dunamis, Abuja), ‘Ekwueme’ by Prospa Ochimana, and ‘You no dey use me play’ by Emma.
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‘I Dated My Wife For 9 Years And She Never Asked Me For Money’ – Nigerian Man Shares ‘Grass To Grace’ Story
A Nigerian man has revealed how his girlfriend who is now his wife never stressed him with financial responsibilities during the period he dated her.
He said that they dated for almost 9 years, and during that moment he cannot recall a single moment that she placed a financial burden on his weak shoulders.
He shared his story on Twitter while ultimately reminding couples never to make the fulcrum of their relationship.
In his words;
”All through the almost 9 years I dated my wife, I cannot recall her asking me for money for anything for one day.
It was basically us just doing stuff together with our money. Right from university days until we graduated.
She didn’t call me one day to ask for money for phone Recharge card or hair or dress. We had occasional exchange of gifts and that’s that. Do not see me as tweeting from a privilege position. Our parents weren’t wealthy but they took care of our needs. All these were mostly seen as normal to us because it was common amongst my peers.
So it’s what I know I’ll tweet about. It remained that way until we got married before we individually took up our roles. To the younger ones, you can do it. Poverty is not an excuse as long as you have parents or siblings that are sponsoring you, live within your means and enjoy your relationship and grow together.
Involving money in relationships breed entitlement mentality between people dating.
I take care of you and you give me sex. That’s entitlement. You miss all the opportunities to truly know who you’re dating & it reduces trust & This was what we did. It doesn’t have to work for you if you try. But I’ll not come here to deceive you/tweet for the optics just because it’s “popular” opinion.I’m more into building, bonding & deliberately committing when it involves issues of the heart.”
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